Responses to American Poetry

The aim of this online space is to host the research work of university students or young scholars as this emerges from larger projects focusing on the American poetry scene. The objective of this initiative is to bring this kind of research activity to the attention of the general public in an attempt to further promote the exchange of ideas with regard to the process of reading, understanding and appreciating poetry writing.

  

Tatiani Rapatzikou 
(Professor, School of English, Aristotle University of Thessaloniki, Greece; Advisor and initiative co-ordinator trapatz@enl.auth.gr)

 

 

 

THOMAIS GKATZOUNI

 

everything i didn’t say // όσα δεν πρόλαβα να πω

 

«αδειάζει ο κόσμος όταν σβήνεις το φως // “the world is empty once you
ο χρόνος στεγνός                                         turn off the light, time dries
στέκεται μπρος μου»                                    as it stands before me”
-Μαρίνα Σπανού, «Σινέ Σερί»                      -Marina Spanou, “Sine Seri”

 

 

English Version:

wednesday, november 8th 1898 6:20 a.m.
 

rainy weather,
cold weather
cold like the sheets where they loved,
where they abandoned,
two people by their nature different, morals and principles.
that night, the only thing that mattered were their two bodies
naked
armed with passion and pleasure
ready to fire, to love, to learn, to meet again
ready to offer life
life
ready to offer salvation
​and life

like a thief in the night

6:35 a.m.

but the sheets got cold
“come back to bed”, Constantine said, with a furtive glance at the clock and
at the window which was almost ready to mirror the sun’s burning beams of light,
that would force themselves in the room
and captivate him and the young lover
that would lock them in a moment
they would stay in this moment forever
time would freeze
time
could
freeze
until it hides itself in the sun’s hideout
and allows them to meet again inside these four walls

6:40 a.m.

“stay a little longer, we can watch the sunrise”
“what’s up with you?” the young man said.
“i don’t want to be alone again”
the young man hesitated
eventually he said
“i can’t, i have to go,
will i see you again?”
Constantine looked him in the eyes, while also looking outside the window,
he was about to speak
he wanted to just open his mouth
and say
say

friday, may 16th 2024, time 6:45 a.m.

“good morning love”
“it’s almost 7 Constantine

sorry, good morning to you as well”
“did the kids wake up?
come here,
let’s stay in bed a little bit longer,
the sun is almost rising
we have some time until they wake up”

sunny weather,
warm weather,
as if it’s hugging you
its beams sweet
resting on the bedsheets
it illuminates their faces
their eyes
as they juggle on each other’s lips
on their lips, the taste to remain
the taste
on their lips, which don’t need to say much
“i love you, you know that?”
“i have suspected something”
“well i suspect that
we can stay here
forever
we can freeze the time”
eventually they heard children’s voices running in the bedroom
to sneak in between their dads

7:00 a.m.

Constantine was making breakfast, preparing his coffee
like he did every day; his routine
as he was stirring the milk he was thinking
that he loved this routine

with his lover, with their children
he loved this life, with his lover, with his children
he loved his lover, his children

“i love you a lot”, Constantine said
“me too, what’s up with you?”
“nothing, it’s just that i love you
i love you i love you i love you
and im compensating for all the times i didn’t say it”
“we have a whole lifetime to say it”
“but i couldn’t say it out loud for half our lifetime”
“either way our lives can never be loud”
“i will love you out loud no matter what”

wednesday november 8th 1898, 6:41 a.m.

…will i see you again?”
Constantine looked him in the eyes,
looked outside the window
where he got lost in his thoughts
he didn’t have the time to express his thoughts,
he could only go there with his mind
eventually he said
“you have to go,
i’ll see you tonight
don’t let anyone see you as you leave”
as he closed the shutters.

6:45 a.m.

the sun rose

 

---

Greek version:

 

τετάρτη 9 νοέμβρη, 1898, ώρα 6:20 π.μ.

καιρός βροχερός, καιρός κρύος, κρύα πλέον τα σεντόνια που πάνω τους αγαπήθηκαν και ελησμόνησαν,
δυό άνθρωποι απ’ τη φύση τους αλλιώτικοι, ελησμόνησαν αρχές.
μονάχα τα σώματά τους πρωταγωνιστούσαν τη νύχτα αυτή, γυμνά κι οπλισμένα με πάθος κι ηδονή
έτοιμα να δώσουν πυρ, να αγαπηθούν, να γνωριστούν, και να ξανά ειδωθούν
έτοιμα να δώσουν ζωή
ζωή
έτοιμα να δώσουν λύτρωση και
ζωή
στα κλεφτά

ώρα 6:35 π.μ.

μα κρύα πλέον τα σεντόνια
<<έλα πίσω στο κρεβάτι>>, είπε ο Κωνσταντίνος ρίχνοντας μια κλεφτή ματιά στο ρολόι και στο παράθυρο που κοντοζύγωνε να αντικατοπτρίσει τις φλογερές ακτίνες του ήλιου, που με οργή θα ‘μπαίναν στο δωμάτιο και θα αιχμαλώτιζαν αυτόν και τον νεαρό
θα τους κλείδωναν σε μια στιγμή μέσα
για πάντα θα ‘μεναν στη στιγμή αυτή
ο χρόνος θα πάγωνε
ώσπου να ξανακρυφτεί στην κρυψώνα του ήλιου
και να ξανανταμώσουν στους τέσσερις αυτούς τοίχους

ώρα 6:40 π.μ.

<<έλα, μείνε λίγο ακόμα, να δούμε τον ήλιο να ξυπνά>>
<<τι σε έχει πιάσει;>>
<<δεν θέλω να μείνω πάλι μόνος>>
ο νεαρός δίστασε
εν τέλει είπε
<<δεν γίνεται, πρέπει να φύγω...
θα σε ξαναδώ;>>

ο Κωνσταντίνος τον κοίταξε τότε στα μάτια, κοιτούσε και έξω απ’ το παράθυρο,
πήγε να μιλήσει
ήθελε να ανοίξει το στόμα του και
και να πει
να πει

παρασκευή 16 μαίου 2024, ώρα 6:45 π.μ.

<<καλημέρα αγάπη μου>>
<<πάει 7 η ώρα κωνσταντίνε

σόρρυ, καλημέρα και σε σένα>>
<<τα παιδιά ξύπνησαν;
έλα να μείνουμε λίγο ακόμα στο κρεβάτι, θα δούμε και την ανατολή όπου να ‘ναι, έχουμε χρόνο μέχρι να σηκωθούν>>

ο καιρός ηλιόλουστος, ζεστός σ’ αγκαλιάζει
οι ακτίνες του ήλιου γλυκά ακουμπάνε το σεντόνι
τονίζει τα πρόσωπά τους, τα μάτια τους
κι αυτοί ακροβατούν ο ένας στα χείλη του άλλου
στα χείλη
να μείνει
η γεύση
στα χείλη
που πολλά δεν χρειάζεται να πουν
<<σ’ αγαπώ πολύ το ξέρεις;>>
<<κάτι έχω υποψιαστεί>>
<<εγώ υποψιάζομαι ότι μπορούμε να κάτσουμε για πάντα εδώ,
να σταματήσουμε τον χρόνο>>
τελικά στο δωμάτιο ήρθαν τρέχοντας δύο παιδικές φωνές
να χωθούν ανάμεσα στους μπαμπάδες τους

ώρα 7:00 π.μ.

ο Κωνσταντίνος ετοίμαζε πρωινό, έφτιαχνε τον καφέ του
όπως συνήθιζε στη ρουτίνα του
καθώς ανακάτευε το γάλα συλλογιζόταν
ότι αγαπούσε αυτή τη ρουτίνα
τη ρουτίνα του με τον αγαπημένο του,
τη ρουτίνα του με τα παιδιά τους,
ότι αγαπούσε αυτή τη ζωή
τη ζωή με τον αγαπημένο του,
τη ζωή του με τα παιδιά του,
ότι αγαπούσε τον αγαπημένο του,
τα παιδιά τους

<<σ’αγαπώ πολύ>> είπε ο Κωνσταντίνος
<<κι εγώ, τι σε έπιασε σήμερα;>>
<<τίποτα απλά σ’ αγαπώ, σ’ αγαπώ, σ’ αγαπώ
|και ξεχρεώνω για τις φορές που δεν προλάβαινα να στο πω>>
<<έχουμε μια ζωή να μου το λες κάθε πρωί>>
<<τη μισή μας ζωή δεν μπορούσα να στο πω φωναχτά>>
<<ούτως ή άλλως η ζωή μας δεν θα μπορέσει να είναι φωναχτή>>
<<εγώ φωναχτά θα σ’ αγαπώ>>

τετάρτη 8 νοέμβρη 1898, ώρα 6:41 π.μ.

...θα σε ξαναδώ;>>
ο Κωνσταντίνος τον κοίταξε τότε στα μάτια, κοιτούσε και έξω απ’ το παράθυρο,
εκεί αφαιρέθηκε για λίγο και συλλογιζόταν
αυτά που σκεφτόταν δεν προλάβαινε να τα πει,
μονάχα με τον νου ταξίδεψε
εν τέλει είπε
<<πέρασε η ώρα πήγαινε,
θα σε περιμένω το βράδυ
πρόσεχε μη σε δει κανείς τώρα που θα φεύγεις>>
και έκλεισε το πατζούρι

ώρα 6:45 π.μ.

ο ήλιος ανέτειλε

---

The writing of my piece has been sparked immediately after reading excerpts by Ersi Sotiropoulos’ book titled What’s Left of the Night. As I was writing it, I also realized that it is more than a story; I realized that since 1898 not many things have changed, and how many people would relate to at least one sentence of what I’ve written.

It’s not easy to love someone. This can be read in several ways; sometimes this ‘someone’ is hard to love, sometimes you’re not free to love this ‘someone’. While reading What’s Left of the Night, I decided I wanted to tell a story about people who could not love out loud; this is what I imagine Cavafy was like with his lover(s).1 I wanted to place him in 1897 France and give him a voice he could not express explicitly in his writings, a (hidden) voice in love. However, I also wanted to have him in motion throughout the world and relocate him in several centuries later, where he could have a voice to love and be “free”; according to Maria Boletsi motion is nevertheless a crucial element of his work: “the nonlinear temporality of Cavafy’s own work, in which past, present, and future constantly (re)shape each other” (199). Cavafy is intertwined with time and almost defined by it; he lived at a time where he could not love out loud, he lived without the time to love out loud. This notion is long connected with queer love which, similarly to Cavafy, is mainly defined by time, as J.L. Watson mentions “[t]he relationship between queerness and temporality has long been documented by queer theorists […] , ‘queer connections are frequently brought about by acts of bending time, productive mobilizations of anachronism […]” (11). I envisioned Cavafy moving from cold hotel rooms filled with secret ephemeral love adventures2 to a warm bedroom with a man he loves and a family; I cannot be certain about whether this was something he would have wanted, but I am certain that he deserved to live at a time where he had the right to want that.

This idea needed Stein’s unique style of writing to come to life and embody the concept I had envisioned. Mainly, I adopted her repetitions with certain phrases & words that I wanted to emphasize in mind; the element of repetition would give my piece a more modernist character, as Natalia Cecire suggests: “Clement encounters Stein’s writing on its own terms and brings those terms to bear on contemporary distant reading” (284). One of the things that connect Cavafy with Stein is the power their words carry, the former with meaning, the latter with form. I wanted to conjoin these elements and create a “conversation” between Stein & Cavafy, between form & meaning, in motion with each other and with the world and in constant (re)-creation of language & writing.

While writing it not many things changed, the main idea I had was conveyed through imaginings of mine, inspired by songs, books, films, docuseries, and other. What did change was the various events that took place in Greece regarding LGBTQ+ issues throughout the time I’ve been working on it; on the one hand, the legalization of same-sex marriage & adoption which is a crucial part of my story and offered a glimpse of hope, but, on the other hand, the attack of 150 youngsters towards two queer people in Thessaloniki.

An important aspect of my piece is how real and familiar it felt. As a member of the LGBTQ+, I have experienced the fear of being seen, holding my partner’s hand, the secret & rushed kisses, the thrill, the adrenaline, the hatred. But what I prefer my sexuality to be associated with is not the fear but the effort to bring at least a small change in this world. This was my main motive while writing my piece, to offer an alternative to Cavafy’s love and lack of freedom, to use Stein’s powerful repetition & emphasis that would mark my words with meaning.

---

WORKS CITED:

Boletsi, Maria. Review of “Made just like me”: The homosexual Cavafy and the poetics of sexuality, by Dimitris Papanikolaou. Journal of Modern Greek Studies, vol. 34, no. 1, 2016, pp. 198-203. Project MUSE, https://doi.org/10.1353/mgs.2016.0019. Accessed 1 Apr. 2024.
Cecire, Natalia. “Ways of Not Reading Gertrude Stein.” ELH, vol. 82, no. 1, 2015, pp. 281-312. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/24477816. Accessed 1 Apr. 2024.
Watson, J.L. “Bodies Out of Time: Sculpting Queer Poetics and Queering Classical Sculpture in the Poetry of C. P. Cavafy”. International Journal of the Classical Tradition, vol. 29, 2022, pp. 190–213. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12138-021-00595-2. Accessed 1 Apr. 2024.

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FOOTNOTES:

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Thomais Gkatzouni (she/her) is an undergraduate student at the School of English, Aristotle University of Thessaloniki, Greece. She lives in Thessaloniki. Her academic interests include translation, contemporary literature, poetry and theatre. She has worked on various projects varying from audiovisual translation to creative writing and theatre performances. She participates in volunteering teams & projects both in Thessaloniki and in her hometown, Katerini, in Greece.

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